“no time to read”

i used to be an avid reader. in the car, during the day, instead of going outside, you would always catch me reading a book. the reason for my glasses was reading, not video games or too much screentime like the majority of my generation. i had a vision of me as an author, for a side hustle, worldbuilding and creating the stories that i loved to read.

however, this has greatly changed. the only reading i do during the school year was macbeth or julius caesar, and, although i write, it’s not the stories that i so badly wanted to tell. i haven’t realized how much i truly have missed reading until i was finally able to pick up a book yesterday.

i began reading at around 11 pm, and i was cozied up in my bed with my blanket and kindle. the book was so engrossing that i read until 5 am, and the only reason i had slept was because i needed to wake up early the next day. i am a person whose maximum time awake normally is around midnight, whether i’m going on my phone, or with friends, but this book kept me up easily.

i love stories and their ability to transport me, entertain me for so long, and give me hope for the happiness i can achieve in my life. so why was i not reading them?

the real answer to this question is that there is neither a reason nor an excuse. if i had prioritized reading, i certainly would have found time, but unfortunately i did not. my hours of screentime easily could have been reading, but it was not, and this honestly is not something i can change. i genuinely feel like reading fictional stories makes me happy in the moment but does not inherently contribute to my life for the better.

however, this is extremely different with self help books. these are very helpful to improving as a person, but are not things that i enjoy reading. so is reading fiction pointless? this question is very interesting and is something i will address in my next post.